In Flight
by DarkenedPetals
Summary: Sometimes you can be convinced your making the right choice, but it never stops indecision and an old friend from swaying your judgement. Why did he have to be here now that she'd already chosen her path? PainexGippal
1. Chapter 1

_Hello there, it's time again for another spurt of fiction. It's rather sad, i've noticed lately that fanfiction for FFX-2 has dwindled. =(This has given me much dismay, but then again every dog has his day. Still little nibblets of it every now and then won't hurt anybody – so here's my small contribution.  
It's a bit of a strange but quick idea i had and just wanted to throw out there... feel free to comment criticism.  
Thank you. =)__Disclaimer__; I own nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.... =(  
_

**In Flight**

Chapter 1

Paine scanned the new shelf in front of her before picking up another book. It was on alchemy of a very basic level and indeed looked extremely dull. Paine was sure she knew what was in it and she hadn't even read it before. Yawning as she put it back in the bookcase, the warrior carried on analysing the titles before taking out a different book that sounded vaguely more intriguing than the rest. Reading the blurb Paine surmised it probably wasn't. This time she stretched and sighed heavily when she came to the conclusion she wasn't likely to find anything of interest to her in this shop. Paine liked to read; she found it relaxing and took her to a place where she wasn't disturbed by life's pathetic irritations. Today, she desperately needed to find such a place to go but her mind was restless and nothing took her fancy. She was going to be bored when they finally got back into the air so it was important she find something, whilst she was here, to occupy her mind with later. The trouble was – with what?

"Need any help?" Paine was just about to refuse the assistance of the bookshop owner when she recognised the voice. Looking around to see who it was Paine was met with one green eye; the colour of the prettiest emeralds she'd ever seen & an iris like a tornado spiral.

"Not today thank you." She smiled.

"Are you sure? We've got lots of different books on offer." Spoke the owner of the eye. He was serious as he spoke but she could tell he was being playful, despite the lack of humour in his voice. His perfect voice; smooth like the desert wind and cool like the ocean in Besaid. It soothed her immediately and she couldn't help wondering if the voice had always been that calming or if it had just intensified over the years.

Shaking her head, the crimson eyed girl replied "Not unless you can find me something different from the norm that will keep me occupied on a long flight."

"A long flight? Do you plan on being bored?" asked the man with many nice attributes.

"I plan on avoiding a boredom I am most certain to come across. So unless you can help me, please move out of my way."

Slowly the man stepped aside, but he watched as the woman walked past him and turned to look at the books further down the aisle. He couldn't help it but his gaze was always fixated on her. She looked so unique it set his curiosity ablaze when she turned up looking crazily different from everyone else in Spira every time he saw her. Her once short, spiky grey hair had grown down to her shoulder blades on this occasion, but she had it tied up in a plat to keep it out of the way. Probably a new style in Yevon she wanted to try out since she'd been working up there so much of late. Her hips swayed as she walked and he could tell because even though her clothes were no longer so tight, the material she wore hung loosely off her muscles so he could observe every little movement it made. Her eyes were still bright like the burning sun and when they were turned on him it made him heat up under the collar, he even found it harder to breathe. She was a good friend to him and he didn't see her enough, if he did then he wouldn't notice the changes. But to him they were drastic because he'd left it just so long to pay her a visit. Even now wasn't a visit, it was a handy coincidence that he'd seen her _this_ soon; he'd tagged along on the airship since they were headed the same way. "Why are you looking in the laws of physics section?" he asked.

"Why not?" she responded.

"Isn't it a bit deep for an airship ride?"

"Well it's not something I'm all that familiar with and it's interesting."

"How about a quick chick flick like one from over there!?" Gippal pointed towards the fiction section.

"Because if i wanted to hear about the tragedies of love, life and over-dramatics I'd get Rikku to tell me a story." Paine responded as she moved further down the bookshelf. She had a fair point.

"What's making you so restless?" Gippal asked.

"You can't guess?" Paine retorted sarcastically. Gippal followed her down the room and watched as her eyes flicked over the spines.

"Ah, the whole Bevelle thing." Summarised the Al Bhed as he remembered why they were flying together anyway.

Chuckling, Paine stopped and then shook her head slightly as she looked up at him, "The whole Bevelle thing?"

"You know what I mean."

Swallowing slowly, she nodded this time, "Yes."

"It's going to be ok you know." He informed her. He was serious; She would be ok. He wasn't so certain about himself however but he wouldn't tell her that; he was meant to be brave.

"I know." She looked to the ground as she thought, he wanted to be inside her head. "I just can't help over-thinking everything about it."

"That's not a crime." He spoke softly as he came closer to her. When he was close enough for his height to make him hover above her, close enough to hear as her breath made its way passed her lips, he stopped and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she looked to where his skin made contact with hers.

"You know I'm never sure about anything. I just say do what you gotta do! If thinking about it until you want to pull your hair out feels like the right thing then go for it." Paine looked up at her friend, she could tell when he was teasing her, but his remark concerned her. She didn't know what the right thing was; she didn't even know what she wanted to do. All she was aware of was that Gippal was standing way too close, but she felt sure that she didn't want him to move away any time soon. Slowly she turned and rested her head against Gippal's chest. Learning into him she felt safe and comfortable, she felt right for the first time in a very long while. As she brought her hands up to rest on his shoulders, his arms had made their way to her back. He was holding her tightly to him and she could feel the warm caress of his touch as he smoothed the fabric at her shoulder blades. Paine inhaled deeply and could smell him, so fresh, so appealing, and so toxic. She would happily breathe that scent forever. They were both so still and silent she could even feel his heart beating rapidly beneath his chest. He was so sturdy, Paine was positive Gippal would never break – nothing could break this skin, these muscles, that smile, that mind, that spirit. He was so perfect. He was better than any male role model she could have ever wished for, no fairytale father, brother or cousin could beat Gippal. He had been her closest friend in the squad and she despaired at the fact they had fallen so out of touch. She couldn't force her face to find a smile again, she was just back to feeling unsure and anxious.

Gippal could sense a change in her mood. When she folded into him he felt like a huge weight was being pushed from her, he was keeping her safe in a little bubble and he wanted to keep her there forever. As she breathed in he wished he was allowed to keep her, but he knew he couldn't. He wasn't able to keep her safe years ago & he was no different now. He was probably the worst person to do that. Leader of the Al Bhed – a big target for Al Bhed haters. Not that Paine needed taking care of, she was probably fiercer than him; still it didn't stop him wanting to try. But her relaxed aura didn't last long, suddenly he felt her worry crash back down and it concerned him. What WAS she thinking about so much? She should be happy, there was no reason for her to feel sad but none-the-less here she was. Gippal took Paine's chin in his fingers and pulled her face up to look at him, her brows were knotted.

"What?" Gippal asked, it was almost inaudible, he was just so close to her he couldn't bear to ruin their intimacy – it was so rare between them now. But Paine just shook her head and tried to avoid his gaze. He gently pulled her head back up so she had to look at him, they were so close he just wanted to be able to reach down and see what her lips felt like, see how they tasted so many years on. He gulped hard as she started into his eye, what was in her mind at this second? Wouldn't it be funny if it was the same as his thoughts? But it never would be would it? It wasn't like that between them anymore. "What's making you sad?"

"I've missed you." The crimson eyed lady said suddenly. It took Gippal by surprise, she missed him? For real? He looked down at her for a long time, and she watched him as an array of emotions presented themselves on his face.

Man he probably didn't even realise so much time had passed since they'd last hung out, she now felt like he wouldn't understand her sorrow but then again why hide how she felt? If he truly was her friend then it wasn't weird to say she'd missed him was it? Why wasn't he responding? Did he just not feel the same... Paine wanted to go back to burying her head in his chest. No she wanted to get out of his presence, get away from the humiliation. So she decided that's what she'd do – she stood up completely straight and pushed from his grasp before she turned and walked in the direction she'd originally been heading.

Gippal's brain took a moment to fire into gear. Of course he's missed her but the words weren't coming out. When she pushed from him and started to move away, it gave him the push he needed to work like a human being again. "Whoa whoa whoa!" Gippal grabbed Paine's arm, holding her locked in his grip. "I missed you too."

_Thank you for taking the time to read.... you could also comment just to say hi! hehe Just want to know who still reads out there (I'm not the only one am i?)_

x


	2. Chapter 2

_Many apologies; I said i would get this uploaded sooner, but I have not had access to the computer! As a way to make it up, i shall try to upload chapter 3 sooner! Yay =)  
Hope you enjoy!__Disclaimer: I think it's obvious that i do not own any of the characters... yadda yadda yadda  
_

Chapter 2

"No Rikku." The crimson eyed warrior lay back on her bed engrossed in a book that was of no interest to the Al Bhed - who had just proceeded to bounce next to Paine in order to stir her from its pages.

"It'll be fun I promise!" the bubbly Al Bhed grinned

"For you." replied Paine who had just lost her place but narrowed her brows in concentration at the paper before her in an attempt to make Rikku go away.

"You will enjoy it, I know you will. You just haven't tried it yet." Rikku continued to plead and jump on her knees up and down on the mattress that Paine was lying on.

"I don't want to try on dresses, that's my final decision." Paine informed Rikku once again.

"Please Paine! I bought you so many nice outfits when we stopped off. Yuna helped me pick ones out that she thought you'd really like."

"You shouldn't have bothered." said Paine monotonously.

"That's so ungrateful." whined Rikku as she stuck out her bottom lip.

"I never asked you to. And you know I hate all that girly stuff so why would you think it was ever going to be something I would agree to?" Paine asked, putting her book to rest on her chest for a moment so she could see Rikku's reaction.

"Well I know you don't like shopping for clothes and girly things, that's why I did it. Because I know you don't have anything to where at this event in two days and I thought I would be a good friend and make you look gorgeous."

"I do have something to wear!" protested Paine strongly.

"I know that but I meant you don't have anything to wear for when we get off the ship. And it's important that you look good for that too."

"Is it?" queried the girl in black.

"Yes!" Rikku smiled, "Please, just let me do this. I won't force my styles on you; I understand you have your own thing going on." Paine gave Rikku a look as if to ask 'but why bother for me?' "Oh c'mon Paine, please! I'm so unbelievably bored! You have to let me do this or else I'm going to jump ship because there is nothing left for me to do on here!" At that Paine picked her book back up and scanned the words to see what she recalled last reading. Rikku remained silent for a moment as she realised she'd taken the wrong approach. Thinking it through again she then suggested, "How about, any clothes you really hate then we can throw them off the deck, or tie them to the back of the ship like a pirate flag? You remember the last time we did that with all of Brother's new engine cloths? Took him forever to reach them and grab them down again." Paine smiled as the memory as Rikku giggled. That could be fun, and it was mighty boring on here. It took so long to get up to Bevelle, 2 days they had been on the ship so far. Yes they had been coming from Luca and it was all the way across the globe but Paine was sure the journey could be faster than this. She realised the guys probably planned this slow journey so that they could turn up just at the beginning of 'the event'.

Sighing, she could barely believe she was about to agree to a Rikku plan, but hey if it shut Rikku up for a couple of hours, Paine could make do with the peace and quiet later on. "Fine."

"YAY thank you Painey! You _will_ be happy you agreed to this, I'm going to make sure of it." Rikku smiled and grabbed Paine's arm before dragging her off the bed and towards the wardrobe.

* * *

"What do you think of this one then?" Rikku pushed Paine towards the full length mirror for about the forth time. Paine studied herself for about half a second before she scoffed and shook her head again. Quickly she bent down to the bottom of the knee-length, hot pink, frilly garment Rikku was trying to call a dress. Suddenly Rikku came by her side and started to adjust the thin straps on Paine's shoulders, but the warrior was having none of it and swiftly pulled it off. "Urgh Why not that one Paine? What's wrong with it?"

"Well for a start it's revolting, and if you want some advice then maybe look for something that suites my colouring." Paine suggested sourly. Rikku absorbed this and then moved back to the wardrobe to rummage through her outfits. After a couple of minutes Rikku handed Paine another hanger. For a second Paine considered throwing it straight back to the hand it had come from, but then she really looked at it. She turned it around and actually didn't mind the sight of it – a first! It was about two thirds black; her comfort colour. Paine felt natural in black, she felt comfy. Paine would have wondered why Rikku even touched anything with black on it but it _was_ rather sleek and stylish. Then there was the added fact that from the top at the wide strapped sleeves to just underneath the bust line the dress was coloured the brightest shade of green Paine had ever seen. It almost hurt Paine's eyes – almost. However, Paine decided she would give this one a go and would at least try to keep an open mind.

As Rikku did up the zip for her, Paine examined herself once again. She actually liked it. It didn't show any unnecessary flesh which made Paine realise maybe it wasn't Rikku's at all, it was probably Yuna's – at least she could dress elegantly when she wanted to. Also the dress was comfortable, Paine could still move in it, which was another shock to her system. Maybe not quite as much she would like to in a sword fight, but she could probably still have a good go if the need arose.

"So what do you think?" asked Rikku moving round to stand next to the mirror so she could get a good look at her friend.

"It's not half bad." Paine nodded her head as she turned to try and see the back.

"Seriously? I found you something you like?" Rikku seemed more shocked than Paine. "Score!" she let out in elation as she did a little dance from side to side. Paine chuckled as Rikku went to find accessories; that seemed a step too far but Paine now feared she had very little choice in the matter.

Suddenly, there was a voice from behind Paine, "Hey Paine, you like the dress I found for you!" smiled Yuna as she reached the top of the stairs.

"You found it?" asked Paine who then eyed Rikku sceptically.

"Aww dammit Yunie, I wanted Paine to think I was good at choosing her outfits!" Rikku pouted as she stomped her foot on the wooden floor, staring at her cousin with a sad expression.

"Sorry Rikku, I didn't realise." apologized Yuna sincerely.

"Don't be a push over Yuna." Instructed Paine, "And thank you, it's actually a good dress."

"I'm sure I could find something Paine would like." Ignoring the exchange, Rikku continued to hunt as if they had never come across the black and green garment the warrior was currently styling. "What about this one? It's very sexy, it'd suit you."

Paine merely laughed as Rikku held up something that resembled a flamingo. "I'm definitely throwing that off the top of the ship!"

"Hey! I happen to love this! It's very flattering." Rikku held it up against herself as she swung her hips from side to side. "Will you two stop laughing at me? It's a beautiful dress I'll have you know. Urgh! Just because you have no style or taste what-so-ever." Rikku flung the dress towards the other clothes piled on the bed nearest to them. Then turning back to the cupboard she pulled something else out. "How about this? I only wear it to funeral's so I guess that's more your thing right?"

"I don't think electric blue is really my colour." Suggested Paine rolling her eyes.

"Well then I don't know!" Rikku threw it to the floor before she stormed past Paine to the ledge where she jumped down to the landing and continued out the door. She was still in a huff when she stomped onto the bridge – almost knocking Gippal off the stairs.

"I'm sorry about her." Yuna apologised yet again to Paine who was fiddling with the zip on the back of the dress in order to get unchanged.

"Don't be. I know what she's like. But I don't really feel like parading around in one of her weird suits today. She'll calm down when someone gives her something else to do."

"She's bored." Nodded Yuna.

"Maybe you should go keep her company." Suggested Paine who had managed to get the zip down and was wriggling about to get her arms free from the shoulder straps.

"I don't think so." Chuckled Yuna, "But I will give you some privacy." The saviour of Spira smiled as she walked down the stairs and then followed her cousins' footsteps through the door.

With no one around - Barkeep was apparently trying to get a tan on the deck (Yevon knows what colour he would turn) and everyone else was hanging out on the bridge as far as Paine was aware - she tugged the dress off and then went to change into her comfy clothes. This bra Rikku had told her to wear – "invisible straps are going to be handy, dresses come in various shapes and designs you know" – was seriously painful. Paine was pretty sure it was not the right size so she undid that too and moved to her own cupboard. After she yanked out some leggings and an old top, Paine closed the door and inadvertently turned towards the stairs just as Gippal finished his climb up them. He'd been so quiet, how had she not heard him come into the room at all? Shock took over her limbs as she froze into place. What was he doing up here? Why had she not heard him, she never missed a beat and now he'd snuck up on her! Was she losing touch? It took Gippal a moment to even process Paine was there but when he did he seemed to be just as shocked as she was. They stood for only a couple of seconds staring at each other, but it felt like a life time. Then simultaneously she whipped her hands to cover her now very exposed breasts as he quickly spun around to look off the top of the stairs. They stayed in this position for several seconds more before Gippal casually stated, "Good afternoon."

"You can go away anytime Gippal!" Paine ordered firmly, she was so embarrassed.

"I didn't see anything." He told her, man he hoped she would believe him. He hadn't intended to, so really it was the same thing, yeah? Why had she been so naked anyway? It was the middle of the day and she was just strutting around without any clothes on! Well she'd had pants; he'd seen that much in the time it had taken him to scan her up and down. He hadn't meant to do that either but it was a reflex. Oh how he wished he'd called out before coming up the stairs, he didn't know how he'd be able to look at her again without picturing it, especially as it was burnt into his brain. As he closed his eyes, he could still see her. He had to get rid of this image – not that he didn't like it - but it shouldn't be there. She wasn't his to picture semi-naked.

"Sure." She said sarcastically from behind him. It made him gulp. Geez, there was really no smooth way out of this.

"I…" he started, but what could he say to make it any better? "I… er," what, Gippal WHAT! Anything, just say anything at all! _'I don't mind, I see girls naked all the time?'_ Yeah, that'd go down well, '_I thought you looked great like that, why do you worry about clothes?' _I wonder just how many bruises would be issued because of that statement. '_I'm not into girls that way, so if anything it repulsed me!' _Hmm how to knock her self-esteem and blatantly lie to her face, nice move indeed! "I'm gonna go now." He informed her and with that he hastily made his way back down the stairs and swiftly out the door.

* * *

_Hello again... I'm thinking reading back that the characters may have changed a little from the first chapter... if you think so too then please feel free to have a go at me, i shall try to correct this for the next chapter.  
Thank you for reading Xx_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello, chapter three is now done, Woo!  
As I was writing this i did want to try and capture a slightly softer side to the two characters and I'm sorry if instead the story seems a little slow, but I'm just feeling that this story needs slow right now. Also, as i wrote this chapter the song "Breathe Me" by Sia kept on coming playing and I think this may have influence something in me.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this short chapter! =)  
Thank you_

Chapter 3

When Gippal stepped out onto the deck he noticed Paine lying at the far end of the ship. Her back was pressed against the metal so she faced the bright, blue, cloudless sky. If the ship wasn't going so fast it would have felt warm today; curse the breeze. Strolling closer to the ex-warrior he called out to her.

"If you've come for another peep show you'll be disappointed." She responded.

"What?! I was told this was where i could get one." He replied in jest before sitting next to where she was relaxing. She opened her eyes to squint at him. He looked like a model in the sunlight, she never thought it was fair – she always looked so pasty. Guess that was why she was now able to fit into Bevelle so easily. She let out a large sigh. "Now what was that for?" asked Gippal as he stared out towards the horizon, where the smallest fragments of vapours where developing in white fluffy form where the sky merged with the sea.

"Why do you always look so perfect?"

"I wasn't aware I did." Gippal looked down at her fascinated, surely she wasn't serious. But he couldn't see a jokey smirk on her face. What was she talking about?

"Of course you do. You're like some fairy tale prince. How big's your six-pack now?" Paine asked.

Gippal self consciously felt his stomach, she thought he was perfect? "You're delirious Paine. If anything I look like a scarecrow next to you."

The woman let out a mighty laugh. "You've got to be kidding me! Honestly Gippal, I don't know why you say such things."

"Because they're true." Gippal turned to lie on his side, now he was so close he was virtually touching her.

"It's not funny when you lie. Remember we agreed, never take jokes too far – it's cruel." Paine said as she stared into his green eye.

"Then why did you start it?" Gippal asked as he brushed a hair from Paine's forehead, he didn't want to cover the garnets on her face, but he hadn't meant to be so forward. He paused when he noticed she was holding her breath beneath his touch. What was that about? He moved to cup her cheek in his hand and watched as she bit her lower lip when his skin met hers, her breath escaped from her mouth slowly and he could see out of the corner of his eye her chest descend. It made him feel warm and tight all over, he couldn't help smiling down at her. "Bevelle's lucky to have you." Gippal had sounded happy for her and he was, but at the same time he was disappointed at the change – she'd be nowhere near him. Admittedly they hadn't seen each other in a while but still, the option wasn't even there now. He could feel himself missing her already.

Suddenly Paine's face dropped, her expression looked discomforted and he didn't like that it was his fault. He stroked her face gently; brushing her cheek with his thumb. "I should be happy shouldn't I?" Paine asked.

"You should be true to yourself. What do you really feel inside?" he enquired.

Gulping hard, Paine gave a moment to think about her response, "Scared, mostly. Worried because I know this is for the best and it's what I chose – but this week I haven't been able to feel anything but regret."

"Regret?" questioned Gippal, to which the warrior nodded. "Well you won't feel that way when we're there; when you're there and you remember why you chose it."

"Won't I?" her eyebrows rose in suspicion at his answer.

"No doubt about it." He tried to make himself smile; he wanted her to know it would be great because he knew it really would be - for her. She would forget all about this worry soon enough, having a great time in her new life. However, he wasn't sure how he'd get through it – he'd feel this for ages afterwards, no excitement to keep him busy but only a hollow remembrance of what he'd lost and then again what he never really even had! His smiling failed as he looked down at the girl, she could read it in his eyes, he was positive she could tell exactly how he felt.

"Help me." Paine sighed as she gripped Gippal in an embrace. Her arms locked tightly around his torso and neck. As they were lying down, he found it hard to keep his balance but he didn't want to lose her grasp – she was warm and the cold wind had picked up, biting at their skin as it flew past. Furthermore, it was extremely rare they ever touched each other this way; Paine didn't do close contact! The last time he could recollect was when they almost died in the Den of Woe. Had it really been that long?

"How?" he whispered in response to her request.

"I shouldn't feel like this. Help me feel how I'm supposed to."

"I...I..." he stuttered helplessly, he just wanted her to stay, he wanted her to be with him, he wanted to tell her not to go to her new life in Bevelle. But he couldn't, that would be wrong; it wouldn't be fair to her or to anyone else. He had to make it better for her because he was her friend and he should do as she asked of him. If she was feeling how he felt then it would mean she wanted to be with him too – but then again she was asking him to help her correct those feelings, because she knew it was as wrong as he did! She knew she shouldn't want to be with him, not when she was well aware of what lay ahead – her future was mapped out perfectly and he couldn't ruin that for her, not if he truly was her friend. He had to be an arsehole, he had to make her realise that she was better off without him. "I don't want you to keep relying on me like this Paine, it's weird." He hoped his lies weren't completely see through – he loved that she was relying on him again, just like when they were 16. But he couldn't let her see that he felt this way, he tried to make his voice sound deep and harsh, "You need to get a grip." At that Paine seemed to grip his shirt harder, like she was taking his meaning wrong. So he pushed her off him and he would never have done it forcefully had her hold not been so intense. She seemed to fall back against the deck with a force that pounded on his heart and he had to force all of himself not to reach out and hug her. This he found strange, she had never been fond of hugs and neither had he – they had always just had a strong emotional bond, the fact that their physical distance between each other was always so prominent was probably what kept these other feelings so harboured.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her for a long time; he just kept swallowing the lump that was trying to form in his throat. Why did he have to be so close to her now, when he had no choice but to let her go? Peeking at her from below his eyelids allowed him to see the small tear stains on her temples that had run from her eyes as she lay down. "Those better be tears of joy, you're on your way to a fantastic future. This ship is taking you there right now so you have no excuse for depression. Me stuck in a monotonous job, an old abandoned temple, now that's something to cry about!" exclaimed the Al Bhed sullenly.  
With her lips tight Paine moved her head to look at him.

"I still don't think I've made the right decision." Gippals' feigned strength and decisiveness disappeared at her words. She really felt she'd chosen wrong, she didn't want to move her life – change her life - well at least not in the direction she was now headed. Why did she mention this so late? It _was_ too late for her to change now and not even he could do anything about it. His face dropped at this thought; even if he shouted out to the world, even if he begged her to reconsider - the fact of the matter was that she already had and she'd already realised there was nothing she could do. And therefore, there was nothing _he_ could do. Slowly he sidled closer to her and slipped his arms behind her neck and around her torso, gripping her into him to keep her warm. Her arms moved to hold his in place over her stomach and he kissed her forehead. He wanted to kiss her all over and at the realisation that he couldn't - it would hurt too much – a tear escaped his eye.

_x Thank you for reading, if you feel you have anything to say or even just fancy giving someone a quick poke – review please! =)_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Ok last round Barkeep." Gippal ordered from the ship's Hypello as he downed the last of his drink, then looking over at his friend saw her placing her glass down on the bar as he had done - a small smile in the corner of her lips. "See, I told you having a few stiff drinks inside of you would make you feel better."

"A few? Gippal, that was waaay more than a few! But yes, it did help." Paine smiled up at him, confirming her statement. He had decided it was wrong of them, well him especially, to wallow in self pity. Instead of torturing himself by holding her warm body tucked neatly into his, he'd give her a proper send-off! They would go to the bar, write a list of all the reasons she'd be happy when she was dropped off and they would get steadily drunk over the rest of the afternoon. Only the afternoon had run into the evening and he knew she was most likely going to hurt him for the hangover in the morning. Regardless of that outcome being very probable, he grinned; he hadn't realised just how much he missed hanging out with her like the Squad days. They could probably find more time together when everything settled down again, they could hang out like old mates – Nooj and Baralai too! Although Gippal was pretty sure it was mainly Paine he would want to spend time with.

"Niiight guuuys!" called Rikku as she came through the door to the cabin, heading for the stairs. "Don't stay up too late, it's a big day tomorrow!"

"Getting off the ship?" Paine asked as her eyebrow jumped up in scepticism.

"Well I consider that a big deal! Sorry for being excited! You should be more like this Paine, after all it is _you_ it's happening too. Can't believe how flat you've been acting!" Rikku stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to the two at the bar as she spoke. Gippal could see Rikku had touched Paine; he'd just been trying to make her forget how she "_should be acting_", spent the afternoon aiming to make her happy and Rikku had just wiped all that away! Gippal glowered across the room at the other Al Bhed.

"Maybe i'm just conserving my energy Rikku." Explained Paine who refused to face the young girl.

"Why?" questioned Rikku, ignoring Gippals eye contact," You're moving to Bevelle – BEVELLE! You can spend the rest of your life with a pole shoved up your bum but this is the last week you'll experience without _having_ to show decorum; you've been so mopey."

"I don't _always _seem mopey to you?" Paine asked Rikku, however looked to Gippal for an explanation. Shrugging Gippal shook his head.

Rikku thought for a while before concluding Paine was right, then she turned and climbed the stairs calling back to them as she got into bed.

Both Gippal and Paine were silent as Barkeep put their drinks down on the bar. "Do you think she knows?" whispered Paine as she picked up the glass. It was barely audible so Gippal had to move closer to the red eyed woman who was rotating the drink between her hands allowing the liquid inside to rock against the beaker. Gippal shook his head – but he'd never been good at keeping quiet. Paine looked up to stare into his eye before continuing to speak her thoughts, "It's probably been so obvious I'm having second thoughts. Maybe it'll be obvious tomorrow too. I bet I'll mess everything up, it's all going to go so horribly wrong just because I keep thinking I made the wrong decision." Paine looked down into the drink, "I wouldn't think it if I was doing the right thing, would I?" Still keeping her voice hushed so not to let Rikku hear, Paine moved away from the bar, she paced round before coming back to stand right in front of Gippal, "But it's Bevelle! So many people would give anything to have the opportunity i have, and yet here i am complaining as if i have to go through anything similar to what Yuna went through. It's pathetic!"

Gippal took hold of Paine's wrists that were making their way to tearing her hair out. "Hey - None of that!" he shook his head firmly and then when Paine was calm, Gippal put his hands on her cheeks; cupping her face so she looked at him when he spoke. "Listen, your circumstances may be nothing like Yuna's but you have to do what makes you _happy_! You only get one chance at this life and if you feel you're doing something wrong then you should try to change it. Bevelle is not the end of the world. It's just Bevelle." Her face looked concerned again as Gippal spoke, "Please don't do this just because you think you should."

"It's not just about me Gippal, not anymore."

"Why has it never been about me?" he asked fiercely, suddenly letting her go and turning to the bar before quickly downing his drink.

"When was I _ever_ supposed to guess that you wanted to be involved? When did you ever let me know you wanted it to be about you too?" Paine retaliated angrily and yet her voice was still so quiet.  
Gippal didn't say anything as he thought, but Paine once again interpreted this silence to mean he didn't care. She walked off towards the bathrooms without warning. Rolling his eyes momentarily before following her.

Gippal cleared his throat when he found her in the bathroom. "Please get out, i want a shower Gippal."

"If i'd let you know how i felt sooner, then would there have ever been a chance for us? Or would Bevelle still come first?" the Al Bhed asked.

"Would Bevelle come first? What sort of question is that?"

"You know what i mean, just answer it!" he pushed.

"I don't know, Gippal. If that was the case then i'm guessing everything would be very different." They stood staring at each other long enough for the lights in the cabin to go off through the hallway behind them. Everyone seemed to be going to bed, it wasn't even that late was it?

"I feel horrible inside."

"Me too Gippal." Paine gulped deeply as she admitted this.

"I knew this journey would be hard, I dreaded letting you go. But to know _you_ aren't even happy with it – it just hurts even more. I was hoping your strength would make me see that everything would be alright. But I can't see how this is ever going to be the right thing, no one is benefitting from this Paine!" Gippal told the crimson eyed woman truthfully.  
But she looked at him in disbelief, "No one is going to _benefit?_" Shaking her head she continued, "Gippal, this is not about 'benefits', it's about my _life_! And of course people are going to be happy, so many peo-"

"I was talking about us." Gippal cut her off.

"There isn't an us Gippal, when was there ever an us?!" Paine put her arms out to express just how crazy the idea was – even if he searched high and low he knew he wouldn't be able to find any proof that the two of them could have had something. Not after the events of the past few years.

"You're right. Pretend i never said anything." Gippal said harshly, if she was going to act like he didn't matter to her at all then to hell with it. "Whilst you're sorting all this stuff out over the next couple of days, I hope you forget all these talks. Because you don't mean them, don't worry, I understand you were only kidding when you said you missed me. I won't mention it to anyone either, it would be insane to think that you actually wanted to back out!"

Paine looked concerned, "Gippal, stop! You can't do that!"

"You think I actually _would_ tell someone what you've said – about all the "regret"? What do you take me for Paine?" her disbelief in him stung; he was being sarcastic but she seemed to believe that he meant it. He thought she knew him better than that.

"No." She whimpered; something he'd never heard Paine do - It worried him. "Stop trying to make out like I never gave a damn!" Her eyes looked tearful, he wondered if she was ever to actually cry would it look like blood running from those red eyes? He didn't want to find out. "Of course I missed you. I've always missed you, even in the Squad when we had different training programmes – I couldn't wait to get back to see you. You know how I felt when i thought you were dead, every time i see you it hurts more to say goodbye because it feels like it could be the last time." Her voice trembled beneath her words, "I don't want to do this anymore Gippal! I want to turn around but i can't. I have to go on because think of who would be hurt if i didn't – think of all the destruction it would cause if i now say no! And just imagine what could happen if anyone found out the reason i don't want to go through with this - feel like a traitor for doing this – is because I can't get you out of my head!? Do you really think it's possible for me to say I change my mind because I love _you_?"

Gippal didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to respond because how could she even tell him this? Her torment surely meant that she couldn't carry on away, didn't it? He didn't know how it was ever right to do what she was doing if she really did love him? His urges overtook his mind and he stepped forward to catch her quivering lips in his. His hands firmly gripping her waist before caressing her back, searching her frame for a space to be placed forever. His body so close to hers he could feel her feminine frame against his – such a contrast next to one another and yet so perfect together. Her hands gripped for his hair as her lips took his softly, but only for a moment before pulling away. Paine pushed the Al Bhed back and turned quickly before putting her hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.

"You just made it so much worse. How can I face this now? Why Gippal? Why did you do that!" Paine gripped her chest as she heaved breaths, determined not to let her pain get the better of her - her voice deep with anguish.

"I'm sorry. I know I just exacerbated the situation horribly, but i wanted to have one last reckless moment with you. Tomorrow you're going to be leaving me and I just wanted to have one more moment of fun. It was stupid i know – but don't people say you do stupid things when you're in love?" Gippal wrapped his arms around her vibrating shoulders.

"Don't say that." She ordered gradually becoming fiercer. For a minute Gippal did as instructed and said nothing, but he didn't appreciate the silence and swiftly broke it to tell her he was only being honest. "Well you better stop being honest from now on. I can't have you telling anyone in Bevelle what just went on or how you feel."

"You say that as if they're still prejudice." Gippal stated, he always felt that whoever grew up under Yevons influence, like Paine had, would have negative feelings towards Al Bhed – it was his own little prejudice. And despite the fact he knew Paine never felt that way he always feared it, feared she wouldn't want to be with him because of it – now it was too late, she was basically becoming one of them so surely she must share some of that belief.

"This isn't about discrimination Gippal! Don't even play that card because you know why I'm asking you to keep quiet! You bloody know and if you pretend you don't then I'll be damned – literally!" she spun round to stare him down; she meant business. "Why are you doing this to me? I asked you to help, to make me feel better and to help me be happy with my decision. But you've just brought it all back to you."

"Would you be happier if I'd never been on this ship with you?" he asked.

"Probably."

Gippal nodded as he waited for her to say something more, but her response seemed pretty resolute. He turned away "I'll go then shall I?"

"It'd be easier if you weren't on the ship, not that I'd be happier." She revised her answer. Gippal wasn't sure if it was due to her lack of ability to let falsehoods lie or whether it was because she wanted him to  
stay with her.

Looking back at her for one last time, Gippal studied her features. She looked pained, regretful even. She wasn't kidding around that she didn't want to go through with all this anymore, but then again if she didn't do anything to change her circumstances then no one else could. "Well you better find a way to make yourself happy without me pretty quickly." At that he turned and went to bed.

_Hello... only got one chapter to go!_


	5. Chapter 5

Ok last chapter here... _  
While I was writing this chapter and this story in general actually i had a lot of Lene Marlin playing and the song "Here we are now" kind of influenced me.. even if you think the chapter isn't so great, give the song a listen... its tuneful! hehe_

Disclaimer: I dont own the character's or places, etc or anything that is the property of Square Enix... Same for chapter 4!  
x

Chapter 5

The ship had been docked for about twenty minutes and already a crowd had formed outside. Paine could hear the chatter and excitement of the people on the ground below, but her mood still felt sour. She was no star, no hero and yet she knew she would be received as one – treated as one over the coming days and she knew she was not worthy of it. It stung her deep inside to think of how bad it was for her to not want to be here, but even on this brand new morning, even after sleeping on it, Paine's feelings had not changed.

Staring out of the cabin window at the blue sky above, Paine adjusted the dress that Yuna had found for her. Fiddling with the hem, Paine made sure it was fitting securely in the right places; she didn't want to be worrying about her clothes when she walked off of the airship. Then footsteps approached from behind and Paine had no doubt who they belonged to.

"How are you this morning? Happy for the big day?" asked Gippal.

"It's not the big day yet, and can't you tell?" Paine turned from the window to give Gippal a sarcastic look.

"Ah, ecstatic I see." The Al Bhed confirmed her expression with an equally sarcastic comment.

Sighing, as if she was admitting defeat, Paine looked back out of the window, "You know i never saw any of this coming."

"Saw what coming?" asked Gippal moving to stand next to her and peer up at the cloudless sky. It was a bright day – the sunlight made him squint, yet it felt so dark.

"I wasn't paying attention to the situation. I never realised you were there."

"You never realised i was _there_? Well, gee, thanks Paine." Shrugged the sturdy Faction leader.

"I never realised my feelings for you. By the time I noticed how strong they were it was too late." Looking up to the swirl of green, Paine stated seriously, "I'm sorry I let it get too late." Gippal turned away at that, he didn't like what he was hearing although he knew it was probably the best he'd ever get from her. "Can you forgive me?" she asked.

Swallowing his pain he glanced quickly at her, "It's not me you should be seeking forgiveness from."

"Not just you, but you are definitely in there." She stated.

"No. You just know I'm the only one who will forgive you; I'll accept anything from you won't I?" he turned back away quickly.

"Why did everything happen so fast? I never know how I'm supposed to stay on track of this friendship when you keep sending me all these different vibes."

"Well that makes two of us." Quipped Gippal.

"I shouldn't trust you should I?" Paine asked, moving in closer to the Al Bhed as if to test him.

"I didn't think you trusted anyone anyway, what difference does it make?"

At that Paine furrowed her brows, then she turned and stomped to the edge of the platform before turning back to the man once more, "I've never been able to believe your words Gippal, that doesn't change the fact I used to trust you with my life."

"Not able to believe my words?" he quoted her in confusion.

"You used to tell me how special i was to you, but i always thought you were just lying. It wasn't until we got older i realised you probably said that to every girl you wanted to go to bed with." Paine swallowed hard, looking away from the man at the window to reconsider her need to get off the ship. "Guess it was a good thing i never believed it, right?"

At her comments, Gippal fell silent for a moment in thought. Then, taking offence he stormed past her, his lips were tight as he uttered, "Yeah, it was a great move of yours Paine. Nicely done – now nobody gets hurt." She could feel the sarcasm of his reply tear through her; maybe if she'd ever believed he liked her then no one really would be hurt – or about to get hurt. But she wasn't going to cry over Gippal, she'd only ever really cried over him once; when she thought he was dead. Now though, he was not dead he was perfectly well and he would get over whatever he claimed would upset him.

"How can you act like all this is just my fault?" she queried in disbelief.

"I never said it was-"

Paine cut into Gippals response, "No you're just treating me as if it is."

Gippal looked back at her from his place at the top of the stairs, he swallowed as he thought of how to answer her. "You're the one who made the ultimate choice Paine, I couldn't have stopped it if I'd tried."

"Yes you could have; if you'd tried hard enough, my ultimate decision may have been very different from this." Paine couldn't look at him anymore. How could she ever admit that to him? It was wrong, so wrong! If she could have been swayed so easily, then she should not be going through with this.

"What could I have done? You wouldn't have wanted my affection." Stated Gippal desperately as he walked back towards her.

"Don't!" Paine quickly stepped back, now angry at herself more than anything. "You can't just come along after all this time and start being physically affectionate with me, filling my head with all these stupid ideas I never really believed in the first place. It's not fair and it's not right. I'm sorry, i guess i never really thought we could have that kind of relationship anyway; and in a way i was right to think that because if it was possible then we wouldn't be here now would we?" Gippal couldn't think of anything to say to counter her accusations before she started speaking again. "I think it's best if I just go now, I can't leave it forever to get off this ship.

"So that's it then? You're just leaving?" asked Gippal as he watched Paine get her things and head towards the door.

Briefly she paused before turning up to the Al Bhed, "I'm sorry if i ever deceived you." With that Paine turned and left the cabin.

Paine stepped out of the shade from the airship, she was greeted with cheers from all directions and she hated it. She hated the limelight, but now nothing in her life would be private, why had she not considered this more seriously before? Nothing would be hers' anymore – it would be Bevelles' and that meant it would be Yevons. That prospect terrified her, she didn't know what to do about it now though; she was here walking through the crowds towards this new life she'd not even actually signed herself up for yet. She knew she should be happy, so she forced a smile from her cheeks, hoping to pull her lips up in more than a grimace. This was not right, she was not supposed to be feeling this. In stories they never mentioned the feeling of dread being so prominent and then it hit her, why in the name of all that was good and holy _was_ she doing this? If it didn't look impolite she would have spun 180 and legged it in the other direction. But it was too late now, she couldn't ever explain herself if she did, so she took in a deep breath and ascended the stairs at the end of the crowd of people all still yelling excited and merry. When she reached the top she looked to see the man waiting there to receive her, that's when she realised she was definitely in the wrong place – there was no reasoning possible for her instincts being so against this moment.

"Hello Baralai." Paine tried to smile at him as he stood before her grinning from ear to ear.

"Hello wife-to-be," he responded before catching her in an embrace. Paine could only gulp as she moved her arms around his neck and tried to believe that this was where she belonged; because she knew it most certainly wasn't.

_Bonjourno, Guten Tag, etc...and now Goodbye as this story is done! =D  
Hope you found it enjoyable, but if you did not feel free to tell me so by reviewing! =)  
Thank you for reading xx_


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